Biting Back The Headlines:

(New York Times)
Iraqi Officials Plan to Extend Buying of Arms

Hands, feet and kidneys will also be sought, but other parts will be diverted to the Sudan.
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(Associated Press)
U.S. Episcopal Church Criticized for Consecrating Gay Bishop

Bishop says he didn't enjoy it, either, but he wanted to be open-minded.
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(The New York Times)
For Kerry, a Few Words That May Be Debatable

"Read My Lips: No New Lesbians."
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(The New York Times)
Bush's Brother Rules Out Bid for Presidency

Governor Jeb Bush says that he doesn't have enough cash on hand to buy the White House, thanks to some pokey real estate deals.
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(MSNBC-Entertainment)
Clay Aiken Dons Santa Hat For Holiday Tour

Authorities in 34 states say they have enough manpower to protect children from the onslaught, but worry about depletion of resources.
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(ABC News-Entertainment-Wire)
Soft Cell Singer Hospitalized After Crash

Flock of Seagulls drummer and Modern English bass guitarist say they haven't been sleeping well.
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(MSNBC-Entertainment)
Jolie Named Sexiest Woman Alive

Actress claims her goal is to become sexiest woman deceased, as the title will last longer.
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(CNNfn)
Dow punctured by 3M.

3M says it will go slower next time, try more foreplay.
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(ABC News-Business-Wire)
Sprint Names New Head of Consumer Division

CEO's arms and legs are being used in Fallujah water project, according to sources.
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(MSNBC-Business)
Mattel's Earnings Slip, Barbie Blamed

Scott Peterson attorney Mark Geragos cites Barbie as possible suspect in wife's slaying during opening of defense phase of the trial.