Bad Polls, No Parole, Nader Mole, Britney's Goals
(Associated Press)
Polls Show Worsening of U.S. Reputation
LONDON--The United States' reputation around the world is hurting, a series of polls published Friday from 10 countries, including Canada, indicated. And in eight out of 10 countries, those polled said they hope to see Democrat John Kerry beat President George W. Bush.
Other highlights from the poll: 81% said they hoped Bill Gates would slip and fall in the bathtub; 78% said they thought Donald Trump was really a woman; 65% thought that Idaho and Montana were girls' names, not states; 53% wanted to see Madonna naked on the $5 bill; 44% blamed their lower back pain on Catherine Zeta-Jones; and 29% felt that they had really written The Da Vinci Code and their had been stolen by the CIA or Michael Eisner..
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(UPI)
Germany's Shroeder Visits Libya
Tripoli, Libya--German Chancellor Gerhard Shroeder met with Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi on ways to boost bilateral relations and increase Libyan oil exports to Germany.
The two leader spent hours in private talks and issued a statement blaming the Jews for all of the problems in world politics, including bad weather and global warming.
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(The New York Daily News)
Lennon Killer Full Of Regret, Sorrow
Tortured by regret over killing beloved Beatle John Lennon, Mark David Chapman told state parole officials he's a real nowhere man in upstate's Attica prison. "In some ways, I'm a bigger nobody than I was before because, you know, people hate me," Chapman said.
Chapman offered to kill Omarosa from The Apprentice or actor Mickey Rourke as a show of gratitude for leniency in his parole, but he was quickly sent back to solitary.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(The Florida Sun Sentinel)
Bush Praises Plan To Speed Help To Restore Everglades
FLORIDA--Governor Jeb Bush touted a new state plan to speed up the restoration of the Everglades, filter water and refurbish wildlife habitat around South Florida.
The plan included selling the Everglades to Japan, moving it by boat and creating additional parking lots for Disney and Universal theme parks.
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(The New York Daily News)
Creeps At Wheel For Disabled Kids
NEW YORK--Hardened criminals were put in charge of the city's most vulnerable students because educrats never did required background checks, a probe revealed yesterday. Severely disabled children rode in private ambulances staffed by ex-cons with records for manslaughter, attempted murder and weapons and drug crimes.
On the positive side, said lawyers from he city, the children learned basic skills in handgun concealment, alibi maintenance and dead-body disposal.
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(The New York Times)
Nader Emerging As The Threat Democrats Feared
WASHINGTON--With less than three weeks before the election, Ralph Nader is emerging as just the threat that Democrats feared, with a potential to tip the balance in up to nine states where President Bush and Senator John Kerry are running neck and neck. Despite a concerted effort by Democrats to derail his independent candidacy, Mr. Nader will be on the ballots in more than 30 states.
Nader also announced plans to replace Santa Claus with a more modern Green Party character named "One-World Wochak."
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(The New York Times)
Ford Brings Back Steve McQueen
DETROIT--Detroit is exhuming another face from the past to pitch its cars to a new generation. A digitally revived Steve McQueen, who died in 1980, will be reprising the character of Lt. Frank Bullitt in a commercial promoting the redesigned and retro Ford Mustang.
The long-dead actor will also make forced-labor appearances at car shows, on late-night TV talk shows and at fundraisers for the National Rifle Association.
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(Reuters)
Kerry: Bush Out of Touch, Out of Ideas, Out of Time
LAS VEGAS--Democratic challenger John Kerry, pumped up by polls showing he won all three debates with President Bush, dismissed the Republican incumbent on Thursday as out of touch, out of ideas and out of time.
Kerry also accused President Bush of being out of toner ink, but the Kerry campaign refused to elaborate on what the senator meant.
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(Associated Press)
Google Launches PC Hard-Drive Search Tool
MOUNTAIN VIEW--Google Inc. on Thursday became the first tech heavyweight to tackle the daunting task of uncluttering computers, introducing a program that quickly scours hard drives for documents, e-mails, instant messages and past Web searches.
The search engine company is also working on a top-secret search engine that will find lost car keys, TV remotes and memories, said sources close to the company.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Associated Press)
Report: Spears May Take Husband's Name
BERLIN--Britney Spears, newly married to dancer Kevin Federline, says she would like to take his last name and wants to start a family next year, a German magazine reported.
The singer also said she wants to open a farm that saves downer cows and sheep with skin problems, to create a math system for adults that eliminated multiplication and division, to find ways to communicate with trees, and to change the name of Wisconsin to something easier to spell, like Ken.
Polls Show Worsening of U.S. Reputation
LONDON--The United States' reputation around the world is hurting, a series of polls published Friday from 10 countries, including Canada, indicated. And in eight out of 10 countries, those polled said they hope to see Democrat John Kerry beat President George W. Bush.
Other highlights from the poll: 81% said they hoped Bill Gates would slip and fall in the bathtub; 78% said they thought Donald Trump was really a woman; 65% thought that Idaho and Montana were girls' names, not states; 53% wanted to see Madonna naked on the $5 bill; 44% blamed their lower back pain on Catherine Zeta-Jones; and 29% felt that they had really written The Da Vinci Code and their had been stolen by the CIA or Michael Eisner..
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(UPI)
Germany's Shroeder Visits Libya
Tripoli, Libya--German Chancellor Gerhard Shroeder met with Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi on ways to boost bilateral relations and increase Libyan oil exports to Germany.
The two leader spent hours in private talks and issued a statement blaming the Jews for all of the problems in world politics, including bad weather and global warming.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(The New York Daily News)
Lennon Killer Full Of Regret, Sorrow
Tortured by regret over killing beloved Beatle John Lennon, Mark David Chapman told state parole officials he's a real nowhere man in upstate's Attica prison. "In some ways, I'm a bigger nobody than I was before because, you know, people hate me," Chapman said.
Chapman offered to kill Omarosa from The Apprentice or actor Mickey Rourke as a show of gratitude for leniency in his parole, but he was quickly sent back to solitary.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(The Florida Sun Sentinel)
Bush Praises Plan To Speed Help To Restore Everglades
FLORIDA--Governor Jeb Bush touted a new state plan to speed up the restoration of the Everglades, filter water and refurbish wildlife habitat around South Florida.
The plan included selling the Everglades to Japan, moving it by boat and creating additional parking lots for Disney and Universal theme parks.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(The New York Daily News)
Creeps At Wheel For Disabled Kids
NEW YORK--Hardened criminals were put in charge of the city's most vulnerable students because educrats never did required background checks, a probe revealed yesterday. Severely disabled children rode in private ambulances staffed by ex-cons with records for manslaughter, attempted murder and weapons and drug crimes.
On the positive side, said lawyers from he city, the children learned basic skills in handgun concealment, alibi maintenance and dead-body disposal.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(The New York Times)
Nader Emerging As The Threat Democrats Feared
WASHINGTON--With less than three weeks before the election, Ralph Nader is emerging as just the threat that Democrats feared, with a potential to tip the balance in up to nine states where President Bush and Senator John Kerry are running neck and neck. Despite a concerted effort by Democrats to derail his independent candidacy, Mr. Nader will be on the ballots in more than 30 states.
Nader also announced plans to replace Santa Claus with a more modern Green Party character named "One-World Wochak."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(The New York Times)
Ford Brings Back Steve McQueen
DETROIT--Detroit is exhuming another face from the past to pitch its cars to a new generation. A digitally revived Steve McQueen, who died in 1980, will be reprising the character of Lt. Frank Bullitt in a commercial promoting the redesigned and retro Ford Mustang.
The long-dead actor will also make forced-labor appearances at car shows, on late-night TV talk shows and at fundraisers for the National Rifle Association.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Reuters)
Kerry: Bush Out of Touch, Out of Ideas, Out of Time
LAS VEGAS--Democratic challenger John Kerry, pumped up by polls showing he won all three debates with President Bush, dismissed the Republican incumbent on Thursday as out of touch, out of ideas and out of time.
Kerry also accused President Bush of being out of toner ink, but the Kerry campaign refused to elaborate on what the senator meant.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Associated Press)
Google Launches PC Hard-Drive Search Tool
MOUNTAIN VIEW--Google Inc. on Thursday became the first tech heavyweight to tackle the daunting task of uncluttering computers, introducing a program that quickly scours hard drives for documents, e-mails, instant messages and past Web searches.
The search engine company is also working on a top-secret search engine that will find lost car keys, TV remotes and memories, said sources close to the company.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Associated Press)
Report: Spears May Take Husband's Name
BERLIN--Britney Spears, newly married to dancer Kevin Federline, says she would like to take his last name and wants to start a family next year, a German magazine reported.
The singer also said she wants to open a farm that saves downer cows and sheep with skin problems, to create a math system for adults that eliminated multiplication and division, to find ways to communicate with trees, and to change the name of Wisconsin to something easier to spell, like Ken.
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